


we're all mad here

by green_tea31



Series: alle jahre wieder [2]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Crack Treated Seriously, Elf!Mac, Jack might have finally lost his mind, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 15:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17226578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_tea31/pseuds/green_tea31
Summary: It's the night before Christmas and Jack wakes up to find a burglar in his living room, featuring Elf!Mac and a random assortment of reindeer.





	we're all mad here

**Author's Note:**

> After that promo for the next episode I figured this fandom could use something lighthearted and fluffy so I looked into my folder of "Why the hell did I write this?" and found this little thing. Idek, I guess I really wanted to write Elf!Mac? Might be a bit late for a Christmas fic but Christmas isn't really over until 6th January anyway, at least where I live.
> 
> English is not my first language. Self-betaed, all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Title from Alice in Wonderland...it kind of fits.

Jack is awake, sitting up and gun in hand before his brain has processed the noise coming from his living room, courtesy of having spent the better part of his life serving the U.S. government. He gets up, silently, and creeps towards the…swearing?

L.A. burglars are a special breed indeed.

The first thing he sees is the light of the small Christmas tree Riley made him get this year, arguing that if he wanted her to come to dinner tomorrow she demanded the presence of a tree, even if it was just a small one.

Next to the tree is a man in the weirdest outfit Jack has ever seen an intruder wear and he’d been part of the Agency’s infamous polka band incident of ’07, classified eyes only.

The guy is wearing an honest to God elf costume with sparkly green tights and an obnoxiously red vest with no shirt underneath.

This is beginning to look less like a home invasion and more like a prank gone wrong.

“Shit, dammit. Bozer’s never going to let me live this down. Fell off the goddamn sleigh for Santa’s sake”, his intruder mumbles angrily while fighting with a string of fairy lights Jack’s pretty sure had still been on his tree a few hours earlier.

Now it’s wrapped around the intruder’s body, making him look like a decorative Christmas ornament.

A very… _fetching_ Christmas ornament from what Jack can see of his body.

He’s tired, not dead and his _maybe prankster, possibly drunk or drug addict_ has a very nice body, all long and lean runner’s muscles and Jack should really get back to the point at hand.

He clears his throat.

 _Definitely not an assassin_ swears again and turns around abruptly, managing to tangle himself up even more, so that he’s effectively trapped by the lights with not much room to move.

Jack does so like the stupid ones.

Even if he is uncommonly pretty. Blond hair, stylishly undone and big blue eyes that look a lot more alert than Jack would have thought.

“Ah! This…is not what it looks like?” The intruder says sheepishly and dear God, if Jack wasn’t a professional those eyes would definitely do him in.

“Like you broke into my living room in the middle of the night wearing the strangest outfit you could find?” Jack answers and pretty boy smiles at him.

That smile should possibly be classified as a weapon of mass destruction.

“Okay…maybe it looks like that.” And he blushes, too. Jack supresses a groan. “But it was honestly more of an accident?”

“You accidentally broke into my living room in the middle of the night? Kid, I don’t know what you’ve been smoking but you should probably stop.” Jack raises an eyebrow and lets his eyes wander over the body in front of him. “Wearing that. You look like a very _professional_ elf if you know what I mean”, he adds suggestively and the kid blushes even harder.

Jack doesn’t really want to make him uncomfortable but he’s going to make a point here because the kid is pretty and young and he wandered L.A.’s streets at night in that getup, alone.

Speaking of…

“How’d you make it down the street unmolested in that outfit anyway?”

“I didn’t walk down the streets”, the kid tells him absentmindedly while he’s working on untangling himself. “I flew over your building when one of the reindeer got spooked and then I fell off the sleigh which is kind of embarrassing because I’ve had my license for a while now. This is the first time this ever happened to me. And I wore the outfit on a dare. Bozer bet me I couldn’t make the run in it and I had to prove him wrong.”

Yeah, this looks more and more like a drug problem because his burglar is way too alert to be drunk but, well…the crazy talk is kind of a giveaway.

Jack finally lowers his gun, and puts it down. If this is an assassin, it’s an assassin with the most convoluted assassination plan Jack has ever encountered and he probably deserves the win.

“Stop tugging on that and let me help you”, Jack tells the kid and sets to help freeing him from the lights as gentle as he can. Doesn’t do to spook him if Jack is going to try to help him get back to wherever he came from.

Jack’s met some crazy people over the years but he has to admit this kid kind of takes the cake. “So, you got anyone you can call to get you?” Jack asks carefully and manages to remove the last stubborn bit of string from around the guy’s throat. Jack tries not to notice their momentary closeness, the kid’s breath is warm on Jack’s face. “Also, you got a name? It’s kinda getting old calling you kid in my head all the time.”

“It’s Mac. My name I mean. Call me Mac.” The newly dubbed Mac answers. His eyes are stubbornly refusing to meet Jack’s and his cheeks are red. Jack wonders whether he’s one of those people who blush all over and then scolds himself.

Here’s a guy, kid really, stoned in his living room, helpless and Jack feels like a dirty old man even thinking about him like that.

“Alright Mac. What about that call then? Anyone can come and get you?” Jack takes a step back and drops the string of lights to the ground.

“Actually…” Mac starts and looks up. His eyes are startlingly blue in the dimly lit apartment. “I kind of lost my phone, too?” He admits sheepishly and before Jack can tell him that he can use Jack’s phone the kid hastily adds “It’s a special phone, one of a kind. The company frowns on using commercial telecommunication devices.”

Jack is still trying to make sense of that statement when suddenly Mac’s attention is grabbed by something in front of the windows.

“Shit. I have to go.” The kid looks around frantically and grabs a bag Jack hadn’t even noticed was there. “They’re going to leave without me.” Before Jack can stop him, Mac has reached the apartment door and opened it.

Jack’s in a bit of a dilemma. He could let him leave, hoping that there were actual people outside who knew Mac and who could look after him. Except…

Jack has kind of gotten attached and the thought of letting his burglar leave in that outfit when he clearly wasn’t in his right mind doesn’t sit right with Jack so he grabs his gun, just in case, and his keys and follows Mac outside.

 ...

Jack makes his way outside where the kid is waiting next to the staircase leading up to the apartment and…

Figures he’d finally lose what’s left of his marbles on Christmas Eve.

There’s an honest to God sleigh in front of them, reindeer and everything. Mac looks at him with an undecipherable look in his eyes while Jack is contemplating shooting himself to wake up from what has to be a dream.

There is no way this is real.

Right?

Jack is going to wake up anytime now.

“Jack?” Mac asks him hesitantly and Jack doesn’t even notice that he never actually told the kid his name. “I really have to go now but…” the kid pats himself down like he’s looking for something and withdraws a small card that he hands to Jack.

_Angus MacGyver_

_1 st class Specialist            _

_Extraordinary Ordnance Disposal_

Jack wants to say something witty and smart that will make him look like he knows what’s going on but clearly that’s not going to happen. “What the hell is extraordinary ordnance?” He asks instead because that is a bit too close to explosive for Jack’s peace of mind.

Mac shrugs as if nothing about this night is out of his comfort zone and, come to think of it, it probably isn’t. “Mostly stuff that explodes but I also deal with the occasional black hole or void opening. My job is basically making sure the distribution teams can do their jobs on Christmas Eve. The rest of the year we’re kind of…making sure the world doesn’t blow up? The job isn’t always that clearly defined to be honest.” The kid looks at him expectantly, clearly awaiting an answer as if any of what he’s just said makes any kind of sense to Jack.

“Okay. That’s…good?” Jack looks up, putting the card in his pocket. Mac smiles at him, bouncing on the balls of his feet as if he can’t quite contain his enthusiasm for whatever’s about to happen.

“You have to watch the next bit, Jack. It’s pretty amazing.” Before Jack can utter so much as a ‘What?’ Mac quickly steps close to him and drops a kiss on his cheek that leaves Jack dumbfounded.

“And call me. I’m pretty sure my boss would love to have you on the team. She’s been after me to find a partner for ages”, Mac tells him cheerily and walks backwards to the sleigh and the waiting reindeer who, in the meantime, have gotten kind of impatient. He hops inside the sleigh, takes the reigns and…

Yeah, they fly.

Mac was right, it’s pretty amazing. The sleigh takes a loop across Jack’s apartment building and vanishes into the night.

…

Jack wakes up. L.A. is bright and shiny in front of his windows. It’s Christmas Day and Jack needs to remember that Riley is going to drop by in less than an hour so they can go out for breakfast. He gets up and staggers towards the bathroom almost tripping over the pair of jeans he’d discarded the night before.

He can’t shake the feeling that he’s forgetting something important.

Jack picks up the jeans and something falls out of a pocket. It’s a card, small and red.

Jack picks it up and remembers.

Everything.

He was pretty sure he’d dreamed last night but well…

There’s the card.

He turns the card over and finds an actual phone number on the back. It’s not any kind of area code he recognizes. It’s not even a country he recognizes.

Jack thinks about his job at the Foundation, steady pay check aside, he’s terribly bored most days, trying to keep the egghead division from blowing themselves up. He thinks of Riley, out on probation, fingers itching every time she so much as looks at a computer and wonders if Mac’s boss would have a place for a hacker turned waitress, too.

Jack grabs his phone and dials the numbers on the card.

Sometimes you just have to take that chance.

After all, it’s Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine that in this universe the Phoenix Foundation really is a think tank where Jack works in security. Yes, Mac's boss is Matty. Working title for this fic was "How Jack got recruited by Santa Claus".


End file.
